


This Is a CATastrophe

by YouDontKnowMeIDontKnowYou



Series: Sanders Sides Stand Alone One Shots [6]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Animal Transformation, Cat!Logan, Cat!Patton, Cat!Roman, Cats, Couch Cuddles, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Gen, Implied Relationships, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot, Platonic Relationships, Sleepy Cuddles, The Sides turn into Cats, Virgil takes care of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 10:13:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18386375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouDontKnowMeIDontKnowYou/pseuds/YouDontKnowMeIDontKnowYou
Summary: Roman, Patton, and Logan are cursed by the Dragon Witch and turn into cats! Virgil’s reaction is unexpected, to say the least.OrThe Sides learn that Virgil secretly loves cats.





	This Is a CATastrophe

**Author's Note:**

> This one's for my sister, you complete dork.

“Well, this is not optimal.”

“This is a _purr-_ fect mess!”

Roman yowled at the pun. Yes, yowled. Having been transformed into a cat, his vocal range was severely limited.

“Now is not the time Patton!”

The Side-turned-cat’s ears perked up and his tail swayed mischievously. “Don’t you mean “ _Cat-_ ton?”

They had just returned from a trip into the Imagination. The fantasy realm within both affected and reflected Thomas’s inspiration. They made the occasional journey to ensure that Thomas was well inspired. It was Virgil’s turn to stay in the Mind Palace, in case anything went wrong. The trip had been cut short after a certain Dragon Witch showed up and cast a curse upon Patton. She had wanted to turn him into Thomas’s most dangerous desire. Roman and Logan jumped to save him and were also caught up in the spell.

According to the Dragon Witch, apparently wanting a cat when you’re allergic is very dangerous. At least, if you’re Thomas.

Logan sat on his hind quarters. The only indication that he was worried was the way that his right ear twitched. “We have to find Virgil. Perhaps he can be of assistance.”

“Where is the emo nightmare?”

Upstairs, they heard a door slam and the sound of footsteps descending the stairs. He stopped at the landing of the staircase, where he usually stood for videos. Virgil blinked sleepily down at them, mussed hair drooping into his eyes. His jaw dropped.

“Virgil!” Patton meowed. “Virgil, Virgil, Virgil!” He leapt forward and pawed at the anxious Side’s legs.

Roman slumped in relief. “Oh, thank goodness. I didn’t know what I would do without a pair of opposable thumbs around.”

“Virgil, I need your help researching a cure,” said Logan.  

Virgil bent down and scooped up Patton. He smoothed down the fur on his head with a quick rub. With little warning, he pulled Roman into his arms as well. They hung over his arm like sheets on a clothes line. Logan took a confused step back, but Verge was too quick for him. He caught him under his belly and placed a hand around his chest to support him. Then, he strode over to the couch and collapsed onto his back.

“Eeeeiiieeeeee,” he squealed. “Kitties, kitties, kitties!” He held them to his chest and rocked gently back and forth. “This is the best day of my entire life!”

“Er,” said Logan, his face being smushed. “This was highly unlikely.”

Virgil scratched behind his ears. “Aw, your meow is so cute!”

“And it appears that he can’t understand us.”

Roman groaned. “For the love of-”

“ _Fur_ the love of, you mean!”

“Look at you! Look at your ears!” Virgil rubbed Roman’s head, studying the long hair protruding from inside his ears. “You must be a Maine Coon. You’re so handsome, yes you are! Look at that pretty, thick coat. Such a nice color!”

He was referring to Roman’s orange coat, inlayed with strips of white, which was indeed magnificent. Roman shied away, not used to being complimented by Virgil. He curled up into a ball at Virgil’s hip. His fluffy tail went to shield his face as if covering a blush.

“Well, uh,” he coughed. “It’s nice to be appreciated.”

“Oh, and you!” he exclaimed, running his fingers through Patton’s coat. “You’re the fluffiest boy! You’re unbelievably cute. You’ve got to be a Ragdoll. Patton would just adore you and all your floof. You’re just a floof monster, aren’t you? Oh my god you’re just sooooo soft!”

“This isn’t so bad! I’m _felining_ pretty good. I get Vergie cuddles!”

Patton purred happily as Virgil nuzzled into his thick white fur. He settled down to rest between the edge of the couch and Virgil’s chest. Patton flicked his tail, batting Logan in the face. His nose twitched, and he sneezed. The anxious Side looked up at him, where he was resting his paws delicately on his stomach.

“Aw, come here baby.” Virgil carefully lifted the shock-still Side to stand on his chest.

“Baby?” snickered Roman. “Did he just call you baby?”

Virgil was gentler this time, realizing that this was not a particularly snuggly feline.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Shhh. Don’t think I forgot about you, okay? You’re a lot smaller than the others, huh? You’re so sleek and noble,” He brushed against his spine, relaxing him a touch. “I think you’re a Russian Blue. You are so, so, pretty!”

He laughed suddenly, deep and maniacal. Their heads shot up to stare at him, worried.

“I can be a supervillain now,” he giggled. “I just need a swivel chair.”

Roman mewed in relief, making Virgil reach down to pet and coo him. “That sounds more like him. At least we know he hasn’t lost it.”

The Anxious side turned his attention back to Patton, taking his pink paws in hand. He squeezed them gently, admiring the delicate pads of his feet and the ways his claws extended and retracted. The Ragdoll squirmed, delighted by this. He sighed.

“I’m so glad you guys are here. I was really starting to miss the others. I wish at least one of them had stayed.”

At this, Patton whined and licked at his hand. “Oh kiddo, I’m sorry! We didn’t mean to leave you all alone!”

Logan slumped his shoulders and Roman crawled closer.

“I-I didn’t consider that.”

Roman batted at Virgil, hiding his guilt with annoyance. “You could have told us!”

Verge smiled and booped his nose. “Huh, are you hungry, handsome? Do you want num nums?” He sat up, taking a cat under each arm. “Buddy,” he said, referring to Logan. “You’re shyer than the other two, so you can just follow me instead.”

“There goes the last of my dignity,” moaned Roman. “I’m not even hungry!”

Once in the kitchen, Virgil dropped the cats and turned to the pantry. After a bit of searching, he came up with some cans of tuna.

“Here,” he plopped the unappetizing lump of grey into a saucer, along with a bowl of water. “Num nums for your tum tums!”

Logan cocked his head, considering him. “I should conduct research on how animals change behavior. This is quite unprecedented. It is like his brain has turned into metaphorical mush.”

Roman sneered at the food presented to him. “Gross!”

Patton knocked into him, throwing him off balance. “Virgil was nice enough to make this for you-”

“He didn’t make it! It came out of a can!”

“And he’s sad that we left him. So the least you can do is try it!”

Roman turned pleading eyes to Logan who gave him a look. “You like tuna, it’s not any different now than before. And I’d eat it before he conjures up a can of cat food!”

“Ugh, fine.” He bent down and took a few bites, all the while glaring at Logan and Patton.

“Awww,” Virgil murmured. “Do you like your num nums?”

Roman whipped his tail, seeing Logan stifling a snicker. He reached forward and brought his paw down; he sent the tuna flying, splattering all over the floor and on Logan. The Blue Russian jumped backwards, startled.

“Aw, buddy!”

Virgil grabbed a hand towel and kneeled to begin to clean up the mess. Meanwhile, Patton pounced on Roman and they began to wrestle. Logan hissed and tried to groom himself. Never having to use paws before, he was quite clumsy.

“Here, come on.” Virgil grabbed Logan and gathered him up in his arms. “Let’s get you a quick bath. I know you’ll hate it, but you’re going to get tuna chunks all over the furniture.”

The logical Side went ridged and meowed, pleading.

“Shhhh. It’s alright.”

They disappeared into the bathroom, just as Patton and Roman took notice. The creative Side fell over, laughing.

“That’s not a _paw_ sition I’d want to be in!”

The older Side swatted at him. “I’m very disappointed in, but admittedly less so because of that pun.”

The two appeared a half hour later. Logan appeared frazzled; he was wrapped in a towel and put in the pocket of…

“Is that my cat hoodie?”

Virgil was mumbling a song to himself, half dancing. He rocked Logan in time to the beat. “There you go buddy. That wasn’t so bad now was it?”

The logical Side shivered and gave a discontented meow. Virgil giggled, then blinked as he got an idea. He sat on the floor of the living room, clicking to beckon the other cats over. Roman beamed at the miserable sight that was Logan.

“Come here handsome, let me brush you.”

Roman purred at the idea, strutting over. He placed two paws on Virgil’s thigh, making the other Side grin. He pulled a brush out of the hoodie pocket and ran it down his spine. Logan took the opportunity to escape. Logan curled in on himself, giving a _mer_ of annoyance.

Patton stalked up to him, rubbing their faces together. “Aw, Logan, are you cold? Here.”

“No, I am quite alright-” A purr bubbled in his chest when the fatherly Side leaned in and licked at his ear. Unthinkingly (and wasn’t that crazy, Logan not thinking?), he flopped over, head resting Virgil’s hip. Patton cuddled up next to him.

Meanwhile, the emo nightmare finished grooming and was busy dangling the hoodie’s string in front of Roman’s nose. Roman batted at it, nose twitching with excitement as it darted in and out of reach.

“And so my army of darkness grows!” said Virgil, his light chuckling sounding a lot less menacing than he intended.

He didn’t quite know how these cats had escaped from the imagination, let alone manifested, but he was grateful for the company. They had to represent the other Sides that he missed so much. The orange cat was clearly Roman, and the Russian Blue was obviously Logan. Patton could only be represented by ‘Mr. Floof-Monster’, the name he had given the cuddliest cat.

Virgil sighed to himself. He whispered aloud, “I lo-” before stopping himself. It was so hard for him to say it, to express how deeply he cared for them. Love was a fresh and fragile thing to him.

“If I can’t say it to them,” he breathed. “At least I can say it to all of you.” He scratched Roman’s ears and gently brushed Logan and Patton. “I love you guys.”

~~~

Virgil awoke slowly from his position on the couch the next morning, light pouring in through the window. He felt strangely heavy. Something warm rested on his arm and he thought _cat_ and pulled it closer to his chest.

It was decidedly not a cat and he squeaked at the sight of Roman curled up in his arms. He tried to peddle away, but his legs were pinned under the weight of the other two Sides. He looked down to see Patton draped over his legs, head on Virgil’s chest. Logan was in a similar position, only with his head cradled Patton’s shoulder.

Roman groaned as he was shaken. “Fi’ve mins…” he muttered.

Logan propped himself up, flexing his hands in amazement. “We are back to normal, it would seem.”

Patton blinked blearily at his dark, strange son. “Virgil! Virgil, Virgil, Virgil, I love you so much! _We_ love you so much! And I didn’t know you liked cats so much!”   

“Er, anyone care to explain what just happened?”

“Heh,” Roman laughed. “You’re not wearing foundation; your face is so red right now!”

“The Dragon Witch turned us into cats, Virgil. The curse evidently had a time limit, or elsewise was ended by other unknown means.”

“G-g-g-great! Do-do you guys r-emember anything?”

“Everything,” yawned Roman, burying his nose into the crook of his arm. “Now be quiet and go back to sleep. I’m just so unbelievably tired right now.”

Logan gave up and let himself fall back against Patton. “As much as I hate to admit it, a long rest is in order. Transforming forms so drastically seems to require a lot of energy.”

“Yayyyy more Vergie cuddles!”

Unbelievably mortified yet entirely trapped, Virgil forced himself to relax and enjoy their affection. Initiating physical contact was so hard, so this was a rare opportunity for proper cuddling. He’d deal with the consequences later. He closed his eyes, not feeling so alone anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> I've never owned cats, if you can tell. Hopefully I was on point with the breeds. I hope this put a smile on your face, I was trying for the fluffiest feel good fic possible. 
> 
> Check out my other one shots in the series for similar stories, including one where only Virgil is a cat.
> 
> Go out and conquer the world today!


End file.
